In The Name of Friendship

So yesterday,

i confessed my past to a friend

my past is not something that i would like to remember of

because whenever i opened my story

i hurt

but because he is my friend and a guy who i care about

i end up telling him a honest story

the truth about me and what happened to me back then

and yes. i knew he can't handle it

he just so frustrated

the way he expressed his frustration makes me sad

sad because i thought he is a friend accept me and who i am

but i understood why he do that

because he never believe what people said about me

what people talk bad about me

he just won't eat it

i appreciate he did that

but soon after i told him everything, he frustrated

fine. i get it. i'm not a girl who you should defend of right ?

i'm not that worthy. i acknowledge the fact

my story, i only told this about only to 5 person

and as far as i know, they accept my past as it is.

i realize me is not that worthy for such acceptance

because i do hate myself back then. and even now

1# mandag

told him this and that

he gave me such a very meaningful advice

he was so nice to me

he asked me after some day of my breakup ' are you okay today '

just by that word, i was crying.

i was hopeless back then, and he gave me the spirit to get up

thank you.

2# sam

she had her own past

i bet she understand what i'm going through back then

we both have history ourselves

but it was different kind

me involved someone

and she involved something

even so, i knew that she's better than me

all those advice, thank you.

3# wong

he is my boyfriend

of course i need to tell him

my past, my attitude

he need to know that

and i told him

for God sake, thank you

he accepted me as who i am

even i maybe doubted it little bit

but he never bring that up.

his past

bluntly, he told me everything

the honesty he gave to me

that is important most

and i'm fine with it

i can't change the past

neither mine nor his

thank you sayang.

4# yaya

she know something about me

she asked, i told

she is my friend who i trust so much

just like everyone. she likes me as i am now

no matter what i do, she still with me

thank you.

5# aru

see aru, i told you everything i can

even it's a lie, i knew you just believe it

i don't care how much you mad at me

but you won't know how much me mad at myself

so much

so much that i would take back what i said to you

if only i know the truth hurt you that much, i would lie

but what can i do. i'm just being honest to my friend.

you are my friend

so you need to accept me for who i am

but please, don't make a fool out of yourself again

defend for me. that is the last thing i need from you

just don't

i'm sorry.

mom dad my family. they are the person i need to apologize to

and i just not strong enough to accept the consequences

so i'm just being quiet about this.

this is a secret which i won't tell anybody else anymore

enough of this.

let this secret reveal itself at Padang Masyar.

because i don't wanna lost my friends, even one. NO.

Wait

we don't know the answer

we don't know what to do

and for me the best medicine to our relationship

is Time.

i know, it is hard to let out the answer

bcoz some just gonna make one hurts

it is fine if you tell me nothing

i will just accepted it

every in and out of you

i accepted it with all my heart

because you see,

i love you so much.

if this silence is what you want.

then i fulfill your wish

because that is all i can do for you here

i know we won't see each other much

but i hope one thing is for sure

i hope you love me as much you love me

when we first been together.

one fine day. when we meet again

trust me. im gonna be a fine great woman

for you. and make you fall in love again. like more.

and i will make you smile :)

i know breakup is not the way,

but tell me someday if that is what you want

i will let you go. for your own good.

but for the time being, i will wait for you.

i will wait for the man that i promise to marry myself to.

a GOOD MAN. thats you.

thats it. I LOVE YOU.

p/s : hey take a good care of my bear tau ! or i'll kill yours. HAHA. kidding darling.

I Met Them

today. oh wait no, yesterdayyyyy kannnn

wake up at 11am got call from my mom

asking when i will come at her, as we gonna go home TODAY.

so longggggg kualeeee lumporrrrr, daaa daaaa ~

WHATEVER.

so i pack stuff and hit to lrt

vrrooomm vroomm lrt berbunyii

smpai PWTC.

i think about an hour im trying to find this PWTC building..

lol sucksssss mannnn, its hotttt with that bag and that bag aloneeeee

:(

*this indon story sucks and fool

oh iklan sat.

ok then aku jumpa la jgaakkkk.

Puan Sri @ bini MB nak jlan2 kat Mid Valley plakkkk

aku on je la, Folloowwww~

smpai smpai tkedek kedek la situu tngu PS mmbeli emas2 beliau, takpe foloooowwww jer

tiba2,, tuutttt disana kami trnampak Salih Yaacob and Raja Azuraa

SHE IS SOOO SMALLLL

AND PREEETTTTYYYYY. hot

we just look at them walking walking walking ~

after the emas emas buying things done. PS head home

and all of them soooo smilingggg :)

and me toooo :)

bcoz after that we head to a shop and we met SY and RA againn

hoho, man she is beautiful and look young !

lucky us. some point, i get shy standing next to her, uhuk :')

after all the shopping2 done, we head to the hotel

and they went out and im left alone. FOREVER ALONE.

whatever im having fun myself

So here some picture with them. DONT CHU EVER LAUGH.

he was keep busying talking stuff even when pic taken. lawak la uncle ni

yes. i am fat. THANKS ALOT. bye